No money, no babysitter, no problem!

As a psychotherapist, I hear so many couple say the same thing.  “Date night?  We have no money and no one to watch the kids.”

I’m a mom too!  I know!  The struggle is real.

Couples tend to feel defeated in this area and lose sight of the fact that it is a necessity for couples to attend to the need to be together in a meaningful way, regularly.  When we let it go, what often results is couples who get irritated with each other more frequently.  The tension in the home tends to build and the quality of the marriage starts to suffer.

Men tend to become more frustrated while women become more avoidant.

The very solution is to crush the problem of “no money – no sitter.”

Knowing that we did not have options for many of these early years, we adapted.

💡Pretty much everybody has money.  Except for a very small part of the population, most of us can trace the money to our cable bill, phone bill, Starbucks latte, shoe addiction, excessive toys, clothes, grear, and even electronics for our babies.  You get the picture, it’s not no money, it’s how you prioritize your spending.

💡Co-sleeping – I know, it’s a must for some of us women.  Unless you think it through, it will impact your marriage.  Co-sleeping can be a beautiful gift for those who desire it, and a marriage can thrive, but not when the marriage relationship is being ignored.  If you notice yourselves citing this as the number one reason there is no intimacy, it’s time to talk.

💡No sitter.  Well, no sitter then no sitter.  It’s just the fact sometimes.

💡💡💡💡💡Date Night In!

Some of that money you are not spending out on romantic meals and getaways, time to reallocate!

Over time, these are just a few of the things we have accumulated for a beautiful (and FUN!!!) night IN!

✅Hot Rocks – They can be a little pricey, but they aren’t going to break your bank.  I bought them for my husband one Christmas. – Yes, HOT, they need a heat source.  On a budget, you can heat them in a pot of hot water on the stove, or in your crock pot.  BE CAREFUL, you aren’t going to get the right temperature.  Save for a proper warmer at the next holiday.  But in the meantime, be careful.

✅Massage Table – Again, not cheap, but you can get a very nice one at Amazon and you’ll enjoy it much more than trying to give each other massages on the bed or floor.  One Valentines Day my husand and I agreed to splurge on this for each other.

✅Essential Oils – Not cheap when you look at the price tag on the purest oils on the market, BUT, highly cost effective when you break it down.

  1. You are going to use them to doctor mom your whole family!  Maybe your neighbors and friends too!
  2. You’ll use them on your skin, in your smoothie, for cleaning greasy-grimy things, to make the diaper pale smell better and those stinky shoes.
  3. They will help manage emotions and regulate energy and sleep.

SO much more!

Other – Stay-In Date night ideas!

💘Pre prepare a special food tray for your time together.

💘Candle lit bath with a couple tablespoons epsom salt/5 drops Ylang Ylang.

💘A simple foot rub with tangerine or cypress essential oil mixed with a carrier oil like coconut or a pure vegetable oil like Young Living V-6.

💘A good game of Chinese Checkers!

Having difficulties with intimacy?  Click here.

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Book an online or in person session with Tracy, here.

Invest in your marriage!  It’s SO worth it!